Beyond Grammar: The Emotional Side of Language Learning
- Wissal Ben Rhouma
- Jul 12
- 4 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Wissal Ben Rhouma is an English tutor and ENGin volunteer. In her work with learners, she keeps encountering something that grammar lessons alone can't explain and in this piece, she shares what she's found.
"My English is terrible" is a statement I have heard frequently, even after successful speaking classes. It made me wonder why learners would feel that they are not good enough, even though they can communicate. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that learning languages is not only about mastering grammar rules or memorizing vocabulary, but it is also about the emotional experience.
The Two Directions Emotions Can Take Learning
Traditionally, English has been taught through intense focus on grammar, vocabulary, and accuracy. However, in practice, teachers may lean towards grammar-focused teaching methods and overlook that emotions can affect speaking performance more than linguistic knowledge itself. The emotional side of language learning can affect the learning process in two possible directions: either negatively or positively.
When students have a healthy or neutral relationship with the language, the learning process will go smoothly with few complications. However, when the language is associated with shame, lost opportunities, or trauma, the learning process will become significantly more challenging.
What Emotional Barriers Look Like in Practice
In my experience teaching and volunteering with ENGin, the emotional side of learning becomes obvious in very specific ways. Teachers should look for patterns such as silence. It is important to mention that silence can reflect time spent processing language. However, other times it is a sign of fear of making mistakes. We can make a distinction between the two types of silence. When English learners hesitate to speak, stop mid-sentence, apologize when making a mistake, and avoid long answers, it indicates concern about making errors. The learner is not being stopped and limited by knowledge, but by fear.
Next is the confidence gap. Sometimes, our students underestimate their English. I personally noticed that when I first talked to them in the first class. They would usually say "my English is bad". This is an expression that is commonly used among learners; however, when I tell them that they speak better than they give themselves credit, I make the distinction between a surprised student and a disbelieving one. They usually ignore their progress, even when I mention it clearly. They compare themselves a lot to others at an advanced level who have been learning for years.
In addition to that, many students are classified as perfectionists. It is good to pay attention to accuracy. But when accuracy is all we can think of, it turns into a barrier. Many learners overthink excessively, trying to get the perfect sentence, and by the time they figure it out, the conversation has already moved on. Others would prefer not to speak at all rather than make mistakes, as errors are considered to be a sign of failure instead of a natural and unavoidable part of being a learner. I observed that English learners sometimes tend to turn the one-to-one speaking class into another that focuses on correctness. They tend to forget that having a normal conversation and learning new, useful vocabulary is the backbone of the class. Ironically, the desire to avoid making mistakes is directly tied to slower improvement and fewer opportunities to practice.
How Volunteers and Teachers Can Help
When dealing with these kinds of learners, teachers have a crucial role in reducing anxiety by fostering an environment where mistakes are accepted. It is worth mentioning that it is not about correcting all the mistakes, but about what mistakes are worth correcting immediately. In many cases, mistakes should be corrected during the delayed feedback, and others should be ignored entirely. The timing is as crucial as correcting the error itself. Interrupting for each mistake will kill the communicative purpose of the task. Moreover, when mentioning every error to the student, it will create a sense of uncertainty and increase thinking time.
Gentle correction and mentioning their accurate use of the language alongside their progress is tied to how much we respect and care about our students. Although this respect is rarely expressed explicitly, learners can clearly sense it. When students feel our respect and notice that they are being heard, they are more likely to participate and express their opinions.
This is something I see at the heart of what ENGin volunteers do every week: not teach grammar, but show up for a real conversation — and make students feel safe enough to take part in it.
Confidence Takes Time and That's Okay
Through conversation with the intention of helping others to improve their English skills, I realized that the emotional factors are as important as planning the lessons. Additionally, it is unrealistic to think that confidence will be developed overnight. As teachers, we can help create this confidence gradually by mentioning and praising their accurate usage of the language, participation using new words that they have not learned in the classroom, and mentioning the progress they have made so far, as the progress is not always visible to the learner.
The Person Behind the Student
To conclude, learning languages is not only cognitive but also emotional. Therefore, teachers should not only pay attention to the errors but also to the emotions. As teachers, we should remember that behind our students is a person with hopes, fears, and past failures.
Behind every student who says "my English is terrible" is someone brave enough to keep showing up anyway and that deserves to be met with patience, encouragement, and care.
At ENGin, volunteers from around the world support Ukrainian students through weekly online English conversation practice — no teaching experience required, just a willingness to listen. If Wissal's reflection resonated with you, sign up as an ENGin volunteer and see what one conversation a week can do.
